What was missing in me

Enoch walked faithfully with God; then he was no more, because God took him away.

 (Genesis 5:24)

Key word: Faithfully

Definition: steady in allegiance or affection; loyal; constant: reliable, trusted, or believed.

       Hidden into the genealogy of Adam is this particular, and yet intriguing sentence about Enoch, the faithful man. 

        We can find more about him in Hebrews 11:5, which says, "By faith Enoch was taken from this life, so that he did not experience death:'He could not be found, because God had taken him away.' For before he was taken, he was commended as one who pleased God."

         Enoch was taken, didn't stick around to await his death and just went straight to God's side, all for one reason: His faith pleased God. 

     

        There's so many times that i have placed my faith in myself rather than on God. Choices to make, the world screams, my human frailty gets in the way, revenge or even personal glory wants, screams to be released, unfortunately i even try to take control of my own destiny! 

         But as i read this verse, the bucket of ice cooled water was poured on me! Faith in God, that's all He wants. Many times we think that He's taking to long, He's not listening, He won't answer, etc.. 

        We have the urge to take matter into our own hands, and when we do BAM! We end up hurt, confused, in pain, etc.. 

        I am positive that Enoch faced these temptations as well, yet he "walked faithfully with God." There's no two ways about this, walking with God means we give up our own right, to navigate our own lives. We are placing our faith in Him, realizing that He knows best and knowing that He might not always reveal the 'How's' and the 'Why's' until the very last second or even not at all. Day-by-day-faith-walking pleases God. 

        Do you long to be one who pleases God this way? One who makes Him smile as He sees you daily place complete trust in Him and on His infinite wisdom? Maybe then you just might be like Enoch, the one who walked closely by his Creator's side. 

Who I am..

Dear reader,

      

I must confess something, I tend to think less of myself. It happens all the time and as far as I can remember I was always like that. From singing in front of a crowd, to putting my ideas out there. My mom always says "you have so much potential,  yet you don't do anything about it." In that moment I start thinking "okay, I got this! I can can do anything"

    

Unfortunately its only in that moment, because as soon as I try to do it the thoughts invade "you cant do it", "who do you think you are", "they're going to end up hating you for trying to take there place", etc etc etc.. Its hard! But then again its always been hard for me.

    

I don't like taking over things, when someone else is in charge. But when things aren't moving forward,  the inner battle starts "do it!" "Don't do it, they wont like it"

I have a fear of singing in front of a crowd. But when someone places me to sing, and I see that I can't back out, my inner battle starts "what if they don't like it" "your going to mess up" "your not that good" "someone is better then you"

Confession number 2: Sometimes I listen to the negative voice.

   

It's wrong I know! The reason I'm writing this, isn't because I just want to tell you my problems. But to let you know that it's okay to have mistakes. That's why God is so wonderful,  because even if you have a billion scars He accepts you. He doesn't want anyone perfect, He just wants you.  I'm still learning to overcome this battle, and I know that one day I will. God accepted me and chose me to help others. Don't ever second guess why God chose you. I did once, and I almost gave up.

Remember that mistakes are meant to be made, that's how we learn.

Always in faith,

Debora

It's hard life out there...

Let go: release, as from one's grip. 

                   One of the hardest part in my life, was being able to let go. You may think "But you move around all the time how is it hard for you?" I've always wanted to stay in a permanent place grow up, have the same friends, same house, etc.. It was so hard finding out that once again we have to move to a place that i didn't know anyone at all! Make new friends, meet new people, unpack?! It was the worst feeling ever! 

                  Truth be told it's still hard! (especially the unpacking part lol), thank God the places I've gone, the people that i met made it really easy for me. Letting go though, its hard, maybe it was that one boy that turned your life upside down and made so happy but that one day he broke your heart and left you, or maybe is that "best friend" that pretended to be by your side but once that bumpy road came along in your life, they were the first one to leave, or maybe, just maybe it was a mistake that you made awhile ago that you still haven't forgiven yourself yet. Lets be honest? I've been through it all, it might not seem that i have. 

                Heartbreak? The hardest and most painful thing I've ever been through, God fixed it and i know i don't need anyone to make me happy, that's God's job. It took me awhile to let go, but once i did i felt so much better. That certain "Best Friend" I was so hurt to find out that she forgot about me so quickly, but i saw that only God can be my best friend. The hardest one "The mistake" God forgives but its so hard to let it go because you felt so dumb after you did it. I learned that if God forgave me, then why couldn't i do the same thing? 

              I guess what I'm trying to say here is that, we all go through problems, some are harder then the others, and some are so easy to overcome that you don't even consider it as a problem. They all leave scars, but it's up to us to keep holding on to it and let it keep hurting us, or we can just let it go and get prepared for the next one to come. 

            Remember: "Scars should remind you of where you've been. But they don't have to dictate, where your going"

When it starts pouring.

'Rain, rain go away, come back another day' Remember when you were a kid, and you wanted to go outside and play, but you couldn't because it started raining, and your mom didn't want you to get sick so you would start singing that song, just to see if it would go away, Remember? 

Now come back to the present, don't you wish that you can do that with your problems? Believe me i do! Sometimes it just gets so hard to handle, as we get older we get more responsibilities, what a drag! Cant i just stay a kid forever,and just worry about playing outside? 

Unfortunately as much as we wish we can be kids forever, we cant. It's the way God made it to be, let me tell you a secret, it gets worst! What? 

Yea it does, because your getting older, everyone is going to expect more of you, it'll get harder and harder, weather you want to or not, it's bound to happen, but can i tell you my secret of keeping my head up and fighting with all this growing up stuff? God.

Yup that's right the Big man upstairs, He gives me strength when i feel that i cant take it anymore. When I'm feeling pressured and i start seeing that so many people want something out of me, He comforts me. When I'm about to fall flat on my face! He grabs my arm and lifts me up. He is my rock that sustains me. My light in the end of the tunnel, the happiness in the middle of the storm! 

My dear reader, without Him you won't be able to live in the world we live in, with so much pressure on our shoulders, people who just want something out of you, so much hatred, and so many other things out there, without Him, your going to fall flat on your face! Your going to stay inside bored out of your mind while the storm is out there never ending. 

One of the many things i learned about life is that, when it's raining, run outside and dance. In other words if my life is in the hands of God, i shouldn't worry. Once you give your problems, worry, sadness, whatever it is that you have in there, to God, just dance it off then you can go singing 'I'm dancing in the rain' 

Now what?

A while ago in my Facebook page I wrote something that just came up in my head after going through a HUGE humiliation. Okay, maybe I should start from the beginning, I'm an EXTREMELY shy person and I have the biggest stage fright. Now when I say big, I mean BIG, I freeze up, I stop doing what I'm supposed to be doing, unless there's someone there with me. 

A week ago we had an event at my church called 'I love you seriously' and I was chosen to sing, I practiced everyday, I memorized the whole song. When the time came to perform, I froze! I got all mixed up, didn't know what I was saying, and yes, almost jumped out of the stage. It was the most embarrassing moment in my life! I couldn't look at any one, (mind you that the place was PACKED!), it was horrible. So yes, I went to where my mom was at and sat with her, everyone was telling me I did great, but inside I knew I didn't. 

While sitting with my mom though, God told me something, 'We fall it's okay it happens, but what cant happen is staying on the ground, So get up, brush off the dirt and start walking', after that I felt a total relief, yeah I still felt humiliated (hey I'm human), but i thought, 'hey so what, i messed up but it doesn't mean I'm going to give up'. 

Sometimes in life we go through something so bad, so hard that we just want to give up, we just want to stay on the ground and not get up. DON'T! God didn't put you in the position that your in for you to give up, He didn't give you that special talent, or the life that your in, or even a privileged that you have, for you to just give it up. He gave it to you because (believe it or not), He knows that you can do it. It doesn't matter if it's hard, Live with it! keep your head up, and keep going, and if you fall well, hey, your only human, but don't stay on the ground, get up! Dust yourself up and keep on walking. In the end of your walk you'll see a light, and that light might just be what you have been waiting for, And during you walk if you get tired just remember this verse:

 Do you not know ? Have you not heard ? The Everlasting God, the LORD, the Creator of the ends of the earth Does not become weary or tired. His understanding is inscrutable .  He gives strength to the weary, And to him who lacks might He increases power.  Though youths grow weary and tired, And vigorous young men stumble badly,  Yet those who wait for the LORD Will gain new strength ; They will mount up with wings like eagles, They will run and not get tired, They will walk and not become weary. Isaiah 40:28-31

God is always with us, so don't worry. 

Being blind

This past few months have been tough on me and my family. But I'm back now and ready to tell you guys something i learned a few days ago.

You know that saying 'hear no evil, speak no evil, and see no evil'  Well for me was the opposite, A few days ago i was going through something that looked perfect to me. I had thought that my life couldn't get any better then it already was. Boy was i wrong!

My mom warned me, God warned me! i just didn't want to see it! i acted like if i was blind.

But then came the day of realizing that i was wrong, and how to fix it was the other problem. I was scared, scared of what the people around me would think, scared of what was going to happen, but i did end up finally taking my decision an getting it over with. Let me tell you it wasn't easy! It was the hardest thing i had too do.

I did it anyway Because i knew that God will bless me! 

Sometimes we get so stuck in the situation we are in, that we don't see what it will do with us in the future. Us girls go so much by our emotions that sometimes we cant even tell whats an emotion and whats not! Or sometimes we can tell, we just pretend we cant. 

Be careful girls into letting your emotions take control, be careful into thinking you are doing something rite when in reality its not.

What do you want?

Friday at night the hard prayer just finished, i was tired and was 

standing by the wall along with the other assistants, while the pastor was preaching 

looking around, keeping my eyes alert, when all of a sudden my eyes stop, and i look

at a young teen standing with everyone else, but why did that teen caught my attention

is because she has been in that church longer then me and is in the same situation.

Nothing in her life has changed, everything is the same or even getting worse

Something in me told me i had to talk to her.

By the end of the service I'm sitting down with her talking to her trying

to get to her, telling her that she needs to change

Blah blah blah....

Point is i asked her something that just stayed in my head,

And I'm sure it stayed in her mind as well.

"What do you want for your life"

A lot of teens don't know how to answer that, or they just answer

with the same thing 'oh i want to become a Docter'

'I want to become this, or that'

But that's not the answer i was looking for

my question has a double meaning..

"What do you want for you life"

In other words

"Who do you want in your life"

Now of course everyone answer is God, but who here really

means it and does something about it! 

I remember i used to say the same thing that i wanted God, but i never did anything 

about it. Stop talking. and start ACTING 

actions are better then words!